Immigrant Dating In The Usa
The Arrival/Departure Record (I-94) stamped in your passport when you arrived shows how long you can stay in the U.S. If the notation is:
- Dating A Russian Immigrant
- Illegal Dating Sites
- Dating An Illegal Immigrant
- Immigrant Dating In The Usa 2019
- Immigrant Dating In The Usa 2017
Immigrant origins now differ drastically, with European, Canadian and other North American immigrants making up only a small share of the foreign-born population (13%) in 2018. Asians (28%), Mexicans (25%) and other Latin Americans (25%) each make up about a quarter of the U.S. Immigrant population, followed by 9% who were born in another region. Answer: I’ve actually written answers on dating non-Indians before which is why I haven’t answered this question previously: Vishak Raman's answer to What's the most romantic date you've experienced, heard about or wished for?
- A specific date - you can stay in the United States until that date.
- 'Duration of Status' (or 'D/S') - you can stay as long as you meet the conditions of your visa.
Do not confuse the notation with the expiration date of your visa.
Extend Your Stay
If you need to stay in the U.S. longer, request an extension well before your visa expires. An 'overstay' can result in a denial of a future visa.
Ending any relationship can be hard but it becomes especially difficult if it is a beautiful and long-term relationship. I was 22 when I started dating my ex and by the time we broke up and moved out of our shared housing, I was 27. After the initial adjustment period, my friends encouraged me to jump onto the dating bandwagon and that is when all the drama in my life exploded. It had been five years since I last went on a date. Making a Tinder profile was definitely an interesting start. However, I soon realized that while I can meet wonderful people on dating apps or make great friends out of dates, not all dates led to potential long-term relationships. Also, it was important to keep in mind that it was not my responsibility to make a relationship out of every date.
Looking back at my dating profile in the last three years, here are few things that I learned, faced, struggled with and laughed at being a “feminine” brown gay immigrant navigating the dating scene in the USA.
‘IT IS ONLY MY PREFERENCE’ – or is it? One thing I learned pretty early on dating apps is the clear discrimination that people can perpetuate. While they call it “preference,” people blindly or consciously remove a vast majority of people based on race, masculine/feminine behavior, physical attributes, career choices from the coveted list of “eligible singles.”
‘YOU DO NOT LIKE SEX ON FIRST DATES, IS IT A CULTURAL THING?’ No, it is a comfort thing.
There is definitely a pressure of whether to engage in sex on first dates or not. If you do have sex on first dates, you are too loose; if you do not have sex on first dates, you are too closeminded. As a survivor of multiple childhood molestation, my body takes time to adjust to a new person being intimate with me. A lot of the conversations on dating apps came down to whether my “culture” of being from a “close-minded” country like Bangladesh impacts my decision not to have sex more openly. What will it take for people to understand that being nude and having sex can make people feel vulnerable and giving people the time and safety to organically be engaged in it has less to do with the culture and country of upbringing?
‘YOU ARE BANGLADESHI, IS IT LIKE IN INDIA?’ UMM, NO! It is not expected that one knows every country in the world but if you meet someone for a date, a simple Google search can tell you a lot about the country your date mentioned in your chat that he/she/they are from. This small information not only makes you seem a little more informed but also understanding and respectful on your date.
‘YOU MUST LOVE SPICY FOOD, RIGHT?’ Just because I am brown and from Southeast Asia, does not mean that I love spicy food. Assumptions based on stereotypes are not sexy and have no place on a good date. Ask your date what they enjoy eating without imposing what you think that they might enjoy eating.
‘SO, WHAT IS YOUR IMMIGRATION STATUS?’ It’s just liked my financial status, non-existent. Not every person is after your American citizenship. Just imagine how making an assumption that an immigrant is on a date with an American citizen just to get a spousal immigration visa makes you look. Definitely rude, discriminatory and ignorant.
‘I REALLY LIKE YOU, BUT YOU ARE TOO VOCAL ABOUT POLITICAL ISSUES.’ Telling a person of color/immigrant/queer person that he/she/they is too politically vocal is the biggest sign of unchecked privilege. A lot of times people forget that a lot of things that they enjoy or take for granted are issues and privileges that minority groups have fought for and yet continuously get discriminated against today.
Tausif Sanzum is a queer advocate, writer and a communication and journalism student at the University of Maine.
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Opinions
Bars, restaurants should require proof of vaccination to enter
(Photo by John Bator)This is a plea for one of my favorite places to get your COVID act together. I know so many wonderful business owners in Rehoboth and I am asking them to act now. We need to protect our community.
COVID and its newest variant Omicron is here. None of us can put our heads in the sand and must acknowledge avoiding action is wrong. Omicron is just the latest variant, there will be more, and communities and businesses must face them head on.
If we want to avoid the recurring shutdowns now happening in some countries, and we must, we have to do all we can to avoid spreading COVID. We know how to do that. It’s getting vaccinated, boosted, and wearing masks indoors when we are in large crowds or even with smaller groups of people we don’t know. It really isn’t hard to do.
I recently traveled to Barcelona, Spain and took a two-week transatlantic cruise. I felt safer doing that than I have recently in Rehoboth Beach.
I have given up on the Rehoboth Beach Commission acting. But months ago the theaters, gyms, and gay bars in D.C. began requiring proof of vaccination to enter. They did so out of compassion for their staff and patrons and without any city mandate to do so. They did it out of decency. It made sense and people felt safer when entering those establishments; business went up. Recently, Freddie Lutz announced he was going to require proof of vaccination and masks to enter Freddie’s Beach Bar in Crystal City, again without a mandate to do so in Northern Virginia. The response has been uniformly positive. People who had stopped coming to the bar contacted him and said they would now feel more comfortable coming in again.
D.C. Mayor Bowser lifted the indoor mask mandate but most establishments continued to require them. Now with a huge increase in positive COVID tests the city reinstated it and people overwhelmingly are approving. It is better than closing down again.
So I am forced to ask: Why aren’t the establishments in Rehoboth Beach doing something? Why are they putting their staff and patrons in danger by not having a requirement of proof of vaccination for entry? Why is it so difficult to have a sign on the door ‘masks required to enter’? Are they afraid they will lose a buck? Maybe they should think back to the same fears around when the first no-smoking laws were passed. Instead of losing business the opposite occurred.
Think about it: Who are the people you want patronizing your business? Aren’t they the ones who care about each other enough to get vaccinated and wear masks? Those who have concerns for their neighbors, friends and loved ones.
It is beyond comprehension that a business owner today is comfortable running a restaurant/bar/entertainment venue without a publicized policy stating all performers and staff have been vaccinated. That protects your customers and when you ask them for proof of vaccination it protects you and your staff as well. It’s a mutual thing. Maybe the many planned New Year’s Eve events at the beach would be a great the time to start a new policy for a healthy new year.
We know talking closely without a mask to someone also not wearing a mask is the easiest way to pass on COVID. We also know a singer/entertainer spews out the COVID virus more than just someone talking. For that reason church choirs have their members sing with masks. A friend is in the choir at a Baptist Church in D.C. and at their Christmas program the choir sang beautifully with masks on. Vaccinated and tested soloists sang without one. At a political candidate’s event in D.C., I had to show proof of vaccination to enter and wear a mask. The same was true at the Kennedy Center and the Shakespeare Theatre where I attended performances. The Blade Christmas party was held at bar Number 9 in D.C., which required proof of vaccination and ID to enter. No one complained and instead many said without that they wouldn’t have come.
Last September, Beebe Hospital canceled some elective surgeries because they were packed with COVID patients. This is happening around the nation again. Are the businesses in Rehoboth Beach going to add to the problem or start to become part of the solution? I have confidence knowing the business owners in Rehoboth care about their staff, patrons, and the community and will soon start to be part of the solution.
Dating A Russian Immigrant
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.
Opinions
It’s unfair to write him off as a homophobic politico
Sen. Bob Dole (Photo public domain)I’ve been thinking about Bob Dole, since he died at 98 on Dec. 5.
As a lesbian, it’s painful to reflect on Dole’s often anti-gay voting record. But, as a disabled person (I’m legally blind), I mourn the loss of a disability civil rights hero.
Dole was of the “greatest generation.” He became disabled (spending three years in the hospital) while fighting in World War II.
That war was our, great-grandparents,’ grandparents’ and parents’ war. It sometimes seems remote to younger generations.
Yet, without sentimentalizing the “greatest generation,” Dole’s death is a reminder: the fight against Hitler was essential for democracy. Life would be terrifying if Hitler had won.
Yet, there’s no way to forget that, as the Blade reported, Dole’s anti-gay record is part of his legacy.
Like many of his time, whether Democrat or Republican, I suspect, he was uncomfortable with queerness.
In 1996, trying to win props from conservatives, Dole became the first co-sponsor of the Senate version of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Until it was struck down by the Supreme Court in 2013, DOMA prohibited same-sex married couples from receiving federal benefits, and allowed states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriages from states where same-sex marriages were legal.
Dole’s legacy is complex. It’s unfair to write him off as a homophobic politico.
Dole voted for the Civil Rights Act in 1964 and for the Voting Rights Act in 1965.
Legions of disabled people, queer and non-queer, remember Dole not only as a disability rights hero, but as a member of our tribe.
One afternoon in the early 1990s, I visited the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History. Walking through the lobby, white cane in hand, I heard a voice say “hello.”
I realized that U.S. Sen. Bob Dole (R-Kan.), then Senate Minority Leader, was saying “hi” to me.
Dole wasn’t greeting me because I was important. I’m not a movie star, world-class athlete, politician. Dole wasn’t running for office. This was before he ran unsuccessfully for president against Bill Clinton.
Dole spoke to me because he saw that I’m disabled.
Sometimes, non-disabled people, queer and non-queer, will chat with me out of pity, discomfort, fear or, out of a “savior” mentality.
“It’s so sad that you have to live like that,” they’ll say.
“Let me help you!” the “saviors” insist, holding my shoulder, grabbing my cane, when I’m crossing the street. (I know how to get around safely. Their “help” endangers my safety.)
Dole chatted with me because he felt a kinship with and interest in the lives of people with disabilities.
Dole knew what it was like to adapt to a disability. He’d hold a pen in his fist to discourage people from shaking his hand and stay away from political dinners because he couldn’t cut his meat due to his disability, The New York Times reported.
Like many with disabilities, he knew what it was to be scorned for being disabled.
Years after I met him at the museum, I interviewed Dole for “Independence Today,” a (now defunct) disability paper. He remembered, he told me, when in the years following World War II, “people would cross to the other side of the street if they saw me walking around.”
Decades later, Dole, motivated by his personal experience, was instrumental in the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
There is still much disability-based discrimination in everything from employment to accommodations (libraries, courts, etc.).
It’s hard for many to imagine what it was like to be disabled in America before the ADA. If you weren’t hired because of your disability or excluded from a restaurant or hospital if you were disabled, you had no legal recourse.
Illegal Dating Sites
Words can’t express how the ADA (from wheelchair ramps to sign language interpreters to Braille menus) has changed our country.
This landmark civil rights law has benefitted everyone from breast cancer survivors to people with AIDS to schoolchildren.
For the “ADA generation,” those born after 1990, the law has established expectations of equality for disabled people.
For this we owe a large debt to Dole! R.I.P., Bob Dole.
Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, is a regular contributor to the Blade.
Commentary
Morning coffee ritual fostered deep friendships
(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)The holiday season brings home how lucky I am to have what I consider my second family, which is what I have come to think of my morning coffee group in Dupont Circle.
Some of us have been meeting every morning for more than 25 years. It began with four of us talking about the morning headlines over coffee before heading off to work or graduate school. The group has since grown to more than 20 and is open to all who enjoy early morning good conversation — at least sometimes it’s good — and want to share a bit of themselves.
Any member of the group who is in town knows they can always find others there seven days a week. Over the years, as the group has grown, it hasn’t changed all that much. Being in D.C. and in Dupont, we like to kid there is a great diversity of political views held by the members of the group; it ranges from A to C. While many of us have friends who are Republicans, I don’t remember any conservative Republican being a member of the group. They may find the conversation hard to take but of course would be welcome. We do have some very progressive members and others more moderate, but we tend to agree on the outcomes we want. Some strongly supported Bernie Sanders and others like me were die-hard Hillary supporters.
Today, quite a few members of the group are mostly retired, me being one of them. But years ago, before retirement, we were offended by a review of the coffee house posted on Yelp, which read: “I love my morning coffee place except for that loud group of Peter Rosenstein’s bloviating pensioners.” We took offense at that only because we weren’t yet pensioners when that was written; we accepted the bloviating appellation and have laughed about it for years.
The group today includes a college dean who joined the group while still a graduate student, a couple of retired members of Congress, a former solicitor general and former Cabinet member. This being D.C. we have our fair share of lawyers and some who work in the non-profit or association fields. While maybe half the group is retired those who still work do so in a variety of settings, including the State Department or other federal agency, law firms, and some for the District of Columbia. Among the members of the group there is a broad range of expertise in areas, including business, politics, finance, foreign policy, climate change, and healthcare. We even have a celebrated pastry chef as part of the group. Using that expertise and our connections we have often helped each other and friends advance in their careers.
We were concerned when the pandemic began our group would disband. We were not going to sit at the coffee house in the morning though some would walk there to get coffee and take it back home. Then one of our group offered to set up a Zoom call each day and for a year and a half, seven days a week, there would be between 10 and 20 people on the call at 8 a.m. each day. It was great as it included someone living in Mexico, he actually set up the call, another in North Carolina, another who was spending some during the pandemic in Hawaii and others in Vermont. As the pandemic eased and we all got vaccinated we began to return to the coffee shop and the Zoom calls ended.
As I said, it really is like a second family. Some of us go out to eat together regularly, we have traveled together, we have had theater parties and celebrate birthdays and births of kids and grandkids. A number of years ago 13 of us flew to Mexico to attend the destination wedding of two members of the group. If someone is ill you know there are people who will call and offer help. I was the recipient of that generosity and care a couple of years ago when I had surgery. Many years ago we even held a memorial service at the coffee shop for one of our members. It was the site of the kick-off for the political campaign for one of the early participants in the group.
I write this after being at our group’s holiday cookie party and then going to hear one of our group sing in his church choir. I can only wish that for everyone.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.
